How to Help a Friend Quit Smoking

Once a smoker has decided to try to quit, s/he is most likely to make it if family, friends, and co-workers give their help and support.   Encourage him or her to set a target quit date, and offer to help in any way needed.  Family and friends are an important source of support and motivation for a person who is trying to quit smoking. Before offering help, ask if it's okay to help, and then ask what you can do. Don't assume that the person wants your help or that you know the best way to help.

Understanding some basic facts about smoking can make it easier for you to understand what quitting is like. This may make it easier to help the person.

• The smoker is in charge. Only the smoker can make the decision to quit and to follow through and quit successfully. It's this person's choice and challenge, not yours. You are not responsible if the person doesn't succeed.
• Most smokers have to try many times before they quit for good. If the person starts to smoke again, accept it. Don't show disappointment or make the person feel guilty. Tell the person that when he or she is ready to try again, you'll be willing to help again.
• Knowing why smokers relapse may help you help the person avoid a relapse. People often start to smoke again when they:
• Have symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.
• Feel stressed or depressed because of problems in their lives.
• Miss the pleasure of smoking during good times in their lives, such as smoking at parties.
• Have easy access to cigarettes.
• Drink alcohol.

What is nicotine withdrawal?
When people use tobacco products on a regular basis, their bodies develop a need for nicotine. If they don't get nicotine, they start having nicotine withdrawal symptoms.  Withdrawal symptoms and cravings for nicotine vary from person to person. They often depend on how much nicotine a person is used to getting. The more nicotine the body is used to, the more severe symptoms are likely to be.

Symptoms of withdrawal include feeling:

• Restless.
• Irritated.
• Angry.
• Anxious.
• Sad or depressed
• Hungrier than usual.

People going through withdrawal may find it hard to:  Sleep. Deal with stress. Concentrate.

Nicotine withdrawal symptoms usually begin about 24 hours after a person quits smoking or using tobacco products. Symptoms are the worst between 24 and 48 hours after the person quits. They can last from a few days to 4 weeks. The average length of time a person deals with withdrawal symptoms is 3 to 4 weeks. The craving for cigarettes and increased appetite can last for months.

Treatment for nicotine withdrawal includes medications, counseling or support groups, a nutritious diet, and regular exercise.

If a person asks for your help, there are many things you may be able to do.

• Give support
  Let the person know that you're willing to talk or visit anytime he or she wants you to. When the person meets a quit-smoking goal, congratulate him or her.
  Ask the person if you can check to see how he or she is doing. Many smokers like to have something in their mouths. Keep a supply of hard candy, cut-up vegetables, or toothpicks in your home to offer to the person. Ignore grouchy moods. No matter how grouchy a person gets, continue to support him or her. If you don't offer support, the person may use your lack of care as an excuse to smoke again. Tell the person about the good changes you see. For example, tell the person that he or she is not as short of breath. Don't check up on the smoker, such as looking for ashtrays or sniffing for smoke.

• Suggest resourcesThere are many resources available to help someone quit smoking, and they make quitting more likely. Here are some ideas you can suggest:

• Join a support group for people who are quitting. People who have quit or are quitting know what quitters go through and can help you.
• Join a quit-smoking program. The person's doctor may be able to suggest one. You can also find them on the Internet.
• Use the Internet. The Internet gives you 24-hour access to information about quitting smoking and to chat rooms that can provide support.
• Get counseling (by telephone, one-on-one, or in a group). The more counseling a person gets, the better the chances of quitting. Counseling sessions can also help if the person starts smoking again.

Keep in mind; quitting is different for each smoker. Ask your friend how you can be most helpful. This will show that you care and that you really want to help. Tell your friend that you think s/he can succeed this time—even if he has tried to quit before and failed. (In fact, most smokers have to “practice” quitting a few times before they quit for good.)

For the first few days after the smoker quits, be ready to help.  He may want to talk all the time, or he may just want extra help when a tough situation comes up, such as a coffee break, a party, or a crisis at home or at work.  Offer to call or visit to check on how he is doing.  Ask how he’s feeling, not just whether or not he is still off cigarettes.

No nagging, scolding, or preaching—these just don’t work. 
What if My Friend Starts Smoking Again?

Forget about blame or guilt. S/he is really learning how to quit—s/he is not failing. Each time s/he tries to quit is a step forward. You may feel badly if he doesn’t quit.  The best thing to say to your friend is, “Good try! I still care about you and will help you next time.”  Try to feel good about all your efforts to help.  When your friend is ready, you can prepare together for the next time s/he quits smoking.
How Long Do I Need to Help My Friend?

The first 7 to 10 days are the toughest, and your friend may need the most help then.  Most smokers who go back to smoking do so within the first 3 months. So you need to keep in close touch for at least that much time. “Slips” (having a puff or smoking one or two cigarettes) are pretty common.  If your friend has slipped, remind him of all the good reasons to stay quit. 

You deserve a lot of credit for helping someone end their addiction. 
Your help can make the difference. 
KEEP PUSHIN!